Goodbyes are hard

Packing and saying goodbye:

If packing wasn't hard enough...

Levi bit a hole nearly through his lip on Friday (#overbiteproblems)

Savannah lost her first front tooth on Saturday

In the middle of the day Saturday I was standing on some stuff packing boxes in high and tight inside the POD and took a pretty bad fall.  Luckily nothing broke but I seriously injured my right shin to the point that now, as I write this post 2 weeks later, I can tell I have permanent nerve damage as parts of my leg are numb (and not the parts that got directly injured).

Our sweet friends the Rehards let us borrow a few of their kids to help watch ours and brought us dinner on Saturday.  Note to self: if someone is moving and you really want to help- bring them dinner! We were so overwelmed with everything food and feeding the kids just got neglected.  One of many families we shed tears over saying goodbye to. 

We packed and packed and I found the kids like this Friday night.  They had put themselves to bed and Charlotte figured out a way to put headphones into her TV so she could still watch and listen while the other kids were asleep. 

Nevertheless our tetris skills paid off and we got everything we wanted to pack into the POD except one bench- no joke, we packed the thing full to the top with 2 bunk beds, our queen bed, a coffee table, the kids dresser, all their toys, clothes, a garage full of Christmas boxes, books, movies etc etc.  I really didn't think we could do it. And the only thing we absolutely couldn't fit was this one last wooden bench.  There is some history with the silly bench so we brought it with us- for now.

The bench just wouldn't fit

We said goodbye to our stuff after 3 days of packing.  An odd feeling as we, as a family, have never done this before.

We also said goodbye to some dear friends- including our own Ms. Sharon.  For us- Ms Sharon has been a lifesave- she is loved by all and we will miss her dearly (already do- definitely).  She has been such an encouraging voice on this journey to the unknown, a faithful friend in prayer and probably understands the intense bi-polar emotions I have had related to this whole journey more than anyone else.  We hope to be blessed with a visit from her wherever we end up.

Savannah and Charlotte said goodbye to some friends they have literally known from birth.  I hate to pull them from "all they have ever known" (Savannahs heartbreaking words not mine)- but I pray they will thank me for it one day.  She is such a sentimental girl- even more than her mother- so I sympathize with her and am doing my best on our adventure to make it just that- an adventure that she enjoys. I have already found her once crying softly in her bunk missing "home"- if only she knew I was doing it too.  Love that kid!

Levi, Charlotte, Chloe, Savannah, Kallie, Dodge

And saying goodbye to our church.  I was born attending this church when it was called First Baptist Church of San Clemente.  When we returned as a fmaily in 1996 we sought out the church to find that it was renamed Pacific Coast Church and I have been attending ever since.  I had my first job working at this church.  It was in 1999 that I met Josh through this church and the "College and Career Group", it was the Pastor of this church that married us in 2002.  We saw the church grow and almost bulldoze and rebuild, then we saw the church split and then we witnessed Gods work in each part of that split for his glory.  We dedicated our kids here- and now here was our last attendance.  Savannah was in her class for the last time and the other kids came with us to the family/cry room and all sat together.  The history here is more than they can understand as I recall sitting in this room childless praying for children of my own- and there they sit- the motivation for this journey- the gifts that seem to have come all at once- as so we attended and left quietly and not many people really knew it was our goodbye.

And lastly the apartment.  Josh and I met on this street- Avenida Rosa- 16 years ago and probably past this apartment multiple times on our cheap dates walking to the pier.  Ironically after college we ended up on the same street - it was on the porch that I found out I was employed at Saddleback College as a Sign Language instructor.  We had 16 foster kids live with us in that apartment- 4 after Savannah and Charlotte were born.  I went into labor 4 times in that apartment.  It was where we started our family- and lost our family- and grew our family- and then outgrew the apartment.  As we were packing our last things I captured these memories that we couldn't bring with us- might not mean much to anyone but me but they pull at my heart. 

The height growth wall- I didn't mark on the home for years, but then one day I just decided we were staying there forever and so I might as well.  It had all the kids on it except Cheyenne and I copied it onto a board that I brought with us in the RV.

This is Grandma Melodi- so I have been told- Charlotte, years later, added her own scribbles and her name!

Savannah drew this on the wall when I was pregnant with Levi from the lower bunk of the bunk bed- I was so angry that she drew on the wall until she explained that it was our family- that is me with Levi in my belly, Josh and then her and Charlotte.  Her face beamed with pride that she was "decorating for the baby".  We discussed it and she never wrote on the wall again- but something kept me from magic erasing it and now there it is- a final portrait on the wall when all else has been removed and I left it.